January 23: Life as we know it

Dear Diary...

Life really is unpredictably unpredictable, isn’t it? It doesn’t care who I am, where I’m coming from, or what I’m doing right now. It just keeps moving, like a river that doesn’t stop for anything. One moment, I could be talking to a stranger, and the next? They might turn out to be the soulmate I didn’t even know I was waiting for.

But when things go wrong, like a breakup, a bad day, or, God forbid, losing someone I love, life slows to a crawl. Time drags, and I’m forced to sit with all the pain. I’ve tried ignoring it, drowning it out, or pretending it’s not there, but nope. Life doesn’t let me off the hook. It’s like it’s saying, “You’ll sit with this until you learn something. If you don’t, I’ll just keep bringing it back.” Honestly, it’s exhausting.

And then there are the happy moments, the ones I should enjoy. But do I? Nope. My brain decides to overanalyze every single detail. Is this moment too good to be true? What if it doesn’t last? What if something goes wrong? I get so caught up in worrying about when the happiness will end that I barely let myself feel it. By the time I snap out of it, the moment’s gone. Just like that.

Maybe that’s why life feels like it’s rushing through the good parts, because I don’t slow down enough to truly live them. I need to stop overthinking everything and just let myself be happy when the chance comes. I mean, if life won’t stop for itself, it sure as hell won’t stop for me either.

So, I guess I need to learn to appreciate all of it, the happy, the sad, and even the in-between. Maybe then life won’t feel so unpredictable after all.

With love,

Hoodie Girl ❤️