January 28th: I DON'T KNOW

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I don't know prayer


Dear Diary…


If there’s one prayer I’ve whispered more times than I can count, it’s the “I don’t know” prayer. ‘I don’t know how this is going to happen. I don’t know how You’re going to save me. I don’t even know my next step… but I trust You’

People always talk about trusting God, but let’s be real. Most of the time, we only “trust” when we already have some sort of backup plan. We pray about something, but deep down, it’s because we kind of know how it’s going to work out. It’s like we’ve already planned it all out and then added God in, thinking, ‘Well, now that God’s in on it, it’s bound to work’. Honestly, sometimes it feels like I’m trying to convince God to do it my way.

But what about when it doesn’t work out? What about when everything you thought was certain starts crumbling? When all your plans fall apart and you’re just… stuck. What then?

As someone who overthinks everything, I’ve learned to just let it be when it comes to God. And trust me, that’s hard. It doesn’t mean I don’t cry over it or feel like I’ve completely failed when things don’t go the way I thought they would. It just means that at some point—usually after spiraling for a bit—I find myself in a quiet corner (most likely in the kitchen), whispering through tears, “I don’t know, God. I don’t know how this is going to play out, but I trust You.”

It’s hard. It’s messy. It hurts. But I trust Him.

And trusting people? That’s even harder. People can hurt you and let you down, and it’s scary to put your faith in them. But maybe I need to try. Maybe I need to say, “I don’t know, but I trust you,” even when it feels risky. Because isn’t that what relationships or real connections are all about? Trusting, even when the outcome is uncertain?

If there’s one thing anxiety and overthinking have taught me, it’s that control is an illusion. Whether it’s my relationship with God, myself, or others, the only way forward is to trust. Life’s unpredictable, but I’m learning to let go.


With love,

Hoodie Girl ❤️♥️



Comments

What's going on? said…
Sometimes, trust is all we have left.
January 28, 2025 at 10:55 PM
Hoodie Girl said…
And Trust is what we'd do🌹🌹
January 28, 2025 at 11:16 PM
Daffodils Tyger said…
Trust is the only thing we got when we don't know
January 29, 2025 at 3:07 AM
Hoodie Girl said…
A blind belief🌹🌹
January 29, 2025 at 8:13 AM
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